Author Topic: church bulletins  (Read 2007 times)

Guest

  • Guest
church bulletins
« on: March 23, 2008, 04:11:32 PM »



These we\'re so good I couldn\'t resist posting them on here.













They\'re back! Those wonderful Church bulletins! Thank God for church
ladies with typewriters. Sentences ( with all the BLOOPERS ) actually
appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:
--------------------------
The Fasting
& Prayer Conference includes meals.
--------------------------
The sermon this morning: \'Jesus Walks on the Water.\' The sermon tonight: \'Searching
for Jesus.\'
--------------------------
Ladies, don\'t forget the rummage sale. It\'s a chance to get rid of those
things not worth keeping around the house.
Bring your husbands.
--------------------------
Don\'t let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
--------------------------
Miss Charlene Mason sang \'I will not pass this way again,\' giving
obvious pleasure to the congregation.
--------------------------
For those of you who have children and don\'t know it, we have a nursery
downstairs.
--------------------------
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help
they can get.
--------------------------
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So
ends a friendship that began in their school days.
--------------------------
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be \'What Is be nice?\'
Come early and listen to our choir practice.
--------------------------
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds
will be used to cripple children.
--------------------------
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you
want remembered.
--------------------------
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious
hostility.
--------------------------
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
--------------------------
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may
be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
--------------------------
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the
Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
--------------------------
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him
their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
--------------------------
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back
door.
--------------------------
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use
large double door at the side entrance.
--------------------------
The Associate Minister unveiled the church\'s new campaign slogan last
Sunday: \'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.